I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
