put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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