you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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