sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
