so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
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