it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
