Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
