your parents love me but you hate me
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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