rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
