she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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