party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
