Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
