why didn't you poke me back
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
