I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
