Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
