I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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