Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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