Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
someone owes me an orgasm
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
