Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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