Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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