Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
