There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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