Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
