if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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