Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
