you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
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Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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