; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
