the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
