I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
