I want to walk on stilts...naked
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
try to milk me bitch
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