we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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