According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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