dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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