i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
