The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
