Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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