Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
