I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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