brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
