You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
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I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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