we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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