Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
