Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize