sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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