everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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