so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
