I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
