you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
