I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize