My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
