Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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