fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
