Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
