i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
