are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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