Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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