I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
