I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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