so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
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I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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