I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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