She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
