i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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