Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just puked most of my soul out..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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