Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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