just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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