obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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