she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
