he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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