I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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