I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
